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Jun 29

Written by: Steve Erbach
Sunday, June 29, 2008 8:28 AM

The status quo I refer to is that of buying hamburger and brats at the grocery store and grilling out.  Seriously.

But that "status quo" is immoral, according to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

I confess: I was interested in the story that inspired this post because I get a bit of a charge out of seeing celebrities get a little more heat turned on them. But when the people turning up the heat are members of PETA, well, a pox on both their houses, is what I say.

PETA is simply taking advantage of the spotlight turned on celebrities to catch some reflected -- well "glory" isn't the word I'm looking for.

PETA has turned its metaphorical guns on Jessica SImpson -- someone I'm not sure I could identify in a lineup, but who appears to be famous. Simpson apparently earned PETA's devoted attention because she incautiously wore a t-shirt that read: "Real Girls Eat Meat", a dig at her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who's a vegan...and, no doubt, a dues-paying PETA member.

Anyway, from The Independent:

Alistair Currie, a spokesman for PETA, said: "Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn't have a right to eat what she wants – eating meat is about suffering and death. Some people feel like they are standing up against a tide of political correctness when they make a statement like this – what she is really doing is standing up for the status quo."

"Standing up for the status quo" ... and that means the evil status quo, of course, of the People Enjoying Tasty Animals.  I've been a card-carrying member of that PETA for my whole life.

One question I've never gotten an answer to -- well, to be fair, I've never really asked it out loud -- is this: what does PETA intend to do about regular carnivores like lions and hyenas and buzzards and such?  Once they bring spineless humans to heel, do you think they'll go after tigers, killer whales, and dingoes?  What if the carnivorous species they go after next is on the endangered species list?  Too bad for the spotted owl, I guess.  He's goin' down because he's a meat-eater!

I've had the urge for the past few minutes now to find a PETA demonstration and bite into an Arby's Roast Beef or, better yet, a Hardee's Monster Thickburger.  Maybe set up a little sidewalk café table with a bottle of wine, some pomme frittes, and a nice, medium-rare New York Strip or T-Bone steak.  Provocative?  Heck, yeah!

What is the deal with PETA people?  Not only am I supposed to treat all human ethnic, tribal, clan, and cultural peculiarities with respect, now I'm supposed to give up bacon and prime rib and buffalo wings because these advocates for animal species threaten to douse me with red paint?

Maybe they figure that for devoted meat-eaters, life wouldn't be worth living without the joy of barbecued ribs or chicken-fried steak.  Perhaps they're right.  The thought of substituting tofu for turkey and dressing makes me suicidal.

Well, if all of us meat-lovers kick the bucket, the world will be safe for for the vegans.  Nah!  I'd rather hang around and enjoy my meat loaf and shredded beef tacquitos and threaten the PETAns and the vegans with some A-1 and some Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce.

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